Tough Dudes Cry

After yesterdays F%#k Allergies post, I have received MANY emails requesting I keep everyone up to date with Trent’s skin as it seems a lot people are dealing with issues like this and I am not the only one who feels completely lost and helpless. I am tagging these posts Trent’s Skin so they are easily searchable.

Also, from my post being re pinned/tweeted/liked I was able to gather a TON of information and I also discovered I have another family member across the United States who has the same problems with her son. So, really, thank you so much to everyone who helped get the word out and gave me suggestions and encouragement. I chose to live a very isolated lifestyle and sometimes I forget there are people out there who actually do care, even if they have never met us before.

So, on to Trent’s appointment yesterday.  His doctor did decide to do a skin lesion biopsy because something is clearly wrong. I was very adamant about Trent not being put on steroids because now we have a 3 yr medical history of what they don’t do for him. I am refusing being told this will just “go away” because it won’t. Thankfully, my doctor is absolutely ready to give us whatever we need. Trent was prescribed an antibiotic and while we had planned a biopsy, it was decided to send us to a dermatologist for a second opinion. I was irritated at this because I am impatient, but a second opinion is needed to decide what type of biopsy will be most beneficial. They don’t want to put Trent through the pain and not get it right the first time.

As one can imagine, Trent is scared shitless. He tries so hard to be brave but you can just see him melt. The more and more we talked about what a biopsy is and why we need to do it his skin got red and he started scratching and he just shut down.

Trent: “Today, when I am scared I decided to just be quiet and it will go away.”

Me: “You can scream. You can cry. You can do whatever you want.”

Trent: “I just wish this wasn’t me.”

My heart breaks and I start crying. Playing it off that crying is cool and totally not embarrassing. I tell him how once I cried when I got a tattoo. His eyes get all wide. The thing with Trent is that he cries all the time. It is when he doesn’t cry that we have a problem. When he is too afraid to cry because he feels completely out of control and this, his tears, he can control. So I nudge him to just let loose and we watch our faces in the mirror across the room. We both sit there crying and a nurse knocks on the door. She looks in, feels awkward, and just sort of leaves.

Me: “Dude! Did you see that? Our toughness was so tough it scared the nurse away!”

My son just giggled and smooshed me. I promised him Legos after this shitty doctor visit.

The car ride home was quiet, he collected his thoughts and when we got to Walmart to pick up his medicine and new Lego set, he had a breakdown in the toy isle and cried about whether he liked BatMan or Dinosaurs more. THIS was a relief. He needed to get it out and if he felt more comfortable crying about toy loyalties than trying to wrap his head around everything, by all means, go on and cry your face off little boy.

And then he was fine. And he picked Batman.

We have a dermatologist appointment in a couple of weeks. During this time waiting I am going to be experimenting with different skin relief formulas for Trent since nothing topical was prescribed. I need more information on what does and doesn’t help him. One big thing I learned at our visit was that it is immensly beneficial if you can have a conversation and not just answer questions. I knew why the doctor was looking in between Trent’s fingers and why he asked he what he sleeps in. I was even slapped on the knee and told how impressive it was that I had educated myself on so many possibilities, from fleas to copper allergies to shitty luck.

I will keep everyone posted on what we are concocting and trying. Our prime directive is to stop the weeping and oozing of the new skin eruptions while keeping the dried out scabs and eczema from itching. Because such large areas of his body (like the entire thing…) are being inflicted, I am making “natural” a priority. Especially since if and when we do find something that works, it has to be considered there will be long term usage.

Today I am asking, what has and has not worked for suffers of anything from sunburns to extreme dry skin to healing wounds? Our skin system is giant and no amount of googling can answer all of my questions and right now I am looking for ideas.

Much love to everyone and seriously, thank you so much for all of your kind words.
Yours, Kylee Lane
 

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