Color Book Mom

This year my kids chose to be Dr Who (Tom Baker) and Spock (TOS). Sweet deal because these are pretty easy costumes to pull off. We make the kids costumes every year, much like we do ours for conventions.

There is something very special about little nerd kids.
(Dad, seriously, we need to make sure the pattern is sewn right.)

Especially when they express their dedication to a specific character, much like cos-players do for conventions. (It’s only logical I dye my hair to match Spock’s, Mom.)

I also use the term ‘nerd’ loosely as whatever definition it ever had is completely lost in the pop culture realm holding geek and dork and whatever…However, these two are nerds like it is 1975. ♥ While we were trick or treating, every older guy knew who Starla was. Often we heard “Hey!! I haven’t seen a Spock in years!” or a random “Beam me up Scotty!” (Which was never actually said in the original series…) Sadly, not one single person knew Trent was Dr Who. Mind you, we live in a very small area and British television isn’t really hip to the jive in Iowa…except in our household.

While these two went from house to house, Rory and I staid back on the sidewalk watching our kids with absolute parental love. I don’t think I could have been more proud of my children. Starla was scanning every house with her homemade tricorder and Trent never once lost character, using British slang and odd Baker references the entire time. They had some story about why Spock and The Dr. were traveling together, because this was not just getting candy, these two WERE their characters. 

Although no one knew who Dr Who was, with any school friends we met along the way, Trent proudly demonstrated pure Time Lord pose, remarking, “Now they know Dr Who!” He was so excited to get to “teach” his classmates in passing about this marvelous character. At one point some snotty child asked Starla if she was a boy or a girl and Starla merely rose her eyebrow, much like Spock would have, if asked such as obvious and human like question.

Our weekends are filled with Star Trek marathons, meals are met with humorous one liners from the good Dr. and craft time is only put on pause for reading time. Markers and little scraps of paper are all over the house along with piles and piles of books and comics. We take our children’s interests very seriously, which was aided by primarily exposing them to the things WE loved very early on.

I have concluded this is the formula for producing a child that isn’t an asshole. Lots of chores, lots of family time, and lots of science fiction.

Also, Halloween is a pretty big deal for my husband and I. It was on Halloween, almost half of my entire lifetime ago, that we kissed for the first time. It was also on Halloween, years later, when Rory asked me to marry him. So, I can not help but spend this time reflecting back on how our offspring have turned out thus far. Halloween is our family holiday, much more than Christmas or Easter…we don’t even get dressed for those holidays…

Love,

The Lanes

It is confirmed that I will be going to Dragon Con in Atlanta , GA. Woo hoo! My very first time and I am beyond excited. After two years of traveling, conventions are something I am finally comfortable doing. Getting to see friends that I have been stalking talking with for years now and squeezing the ones I only get to see once a year or so…

I stalk people on the Internet. One of these people happens to be Molly McIsaac. Molly has decided she wants breast implants. Someone else decided it is a bad idea. The Internet is freaking out. Any publicity is good publicity right? Due to rage, I am sure her chest will be funded by the angry mob.

I am the first to admit that I am extremely judgmental. I just am. I generally dislike everything and have a severe lack of tact when it comes to being around people. With that being said, this is not an attack or agreement — this is just me simply writing down how this situation makes me feel. That and I really needed something to write about.

My first thought was how much Molly wanting breasts angers me. If you have ever seen her IRL, she is one of the most beautiful women ever. Her figure is that of a Victorian-esque model with divine curves, reminiscent of the stars of the 50s and 60s movie era. I shit you not. However, I absolutely understand her wanting larger breasts and that is why this hit home for me.

I am only 5 foot, 4 inches tall with 48-inch hips, a 29-inch waist and A/small B cup-size breasts. So, when Molly says her body is extreme in its proportions — good Lord, I must be an epic freak!  But I am not, and neither is she. Aside from my overall tiny tots, one is much smaller than the other, causing me to have to make my own bras. Retrospectively, my Grandmother is a breast cancer survivor and only HAS one breast. In reality, my predicament is nothing compared to what it could be.

Body image is a bitch. It is one of those things like politics, religion and parenting. You just don’t talk about it because everyone has a different opinion, a different perspective.

I have a metabolism that doesn’t do anything and my stomach has been completely destroyed by medications. I can’t even eat an entire sandwich in one sitting without getting sick. My body will gain half a pound every single day of my life if I don’t excessively work out.  I am on the fucking elliptical 2 hours a day, and walk six miles at night and I STILL get to have tons of cellulite and be overweight. So, no Molly — you can’t just work out to get the body you want. But yes, I would kill to get to go under the knife because surgery is the only way I will ever have a ‘normal’ body (whatever the hell that means).

So I am sitting here thinking to myself what my point is. There really is nothing to say that has not been said in that ‘love your body, love yourself’ vein.

Throughout my adult life, I have spent a lot of time and money on my tattoos — putting myself and my family in big time debt. Debt which I spent years working my way out of. Nothing in this world pisses me off more than a girl who looks cute for free tattoos. My rage towards girls who promise sex/date/photos for clearance body modifications can not even be put into words.

What I do know is that Molly is a very beautiful person and that if she wants breasts, I think she should be working her ass of for them, just like someone would have to work their ass off (in the literal sense) at the gym. In other words, don’t go to conventions for a year, save your money, buy your own boobs. I think THAT is what drove my need to write and why I had any sort of emotional twitch to the Molly Predicament. Earning something is empowering.

Molly claims she has feminist notions and yet she will accept money from men to enlarge her breasts. Do I even need to say anything else? We fight so hard to be accepted in male dominate industries but one third of young women would trade intelligence for bigger breasts. Google it. We fight and scream that the women drawn in comics are unrealistic. Are they? What are we saying if we can collect money from strangers to buy a different body? Why are we altering ourselves to look like the women in comics? Have we not been struggling for the comics to look like us? 

I love Molly, as any stalker does, and I have no intention of hurting her in writing this post. I do thank her for opening up the conversation and find myself resolved of whatever issues were bothering me in the beginning. I simply feel that using your popularity (not your hard work, or self motivation) to buy boobs is selling out and saying “fuck off” to everything our geek girl (and I HATE that term) community has worked so hard to create. Molly, if you want bigger boobs, go for it. I applaud your bravery but I personally think EVERY woman should work for whatever it is they want. Be a strong, independent example.

Is crowd sourcing for tits any different from a princess needing to be saved because she simply cannot do it herself?

That’s it.

No wait.

Just to be clear, this is not intended as an attack on Molly or anyone else specifically. This is really just me writing down my thoughts triggered by this situation. My thoughts are not premeditated. Do feel free to fuel my self esteem by sending money to Kylee.E.Lane@gmail.com via Paypal. I seriously need a new pair of Chucks.

Looking for old/used/unwanted comic books!!!

Hey everyone! As you may have read awhile back, my daughter got caught taking reading tests (cheating.) for some of her friends in class who have a hard time reading…Decent intent, horrible execution…

So, in an effort to give her the tools she needs to REALLY help her friends, we are starting a weekend comic reading group. I believe very strongly that comic books have the power to effectively teach children new reading skills and comprehension. (My son taught himself how to read at 6 yrs old with comic books and went from repeating kindergarten, to a fifth grade reading level in one year.)

Surprisingly, kids keep asking my daughter when they can come over and read! Most of them HAVE NEVER EVEN HELD A COMIC BOOK!!! I don’t have enough comics (that I am willing to un-sleeve…)
for this group of kids. I honestly didn’t think there would be so much interest…

Trent reading during soccer practice.

If ANYONE has any old comics they don’t want, PLEASE let me know or feel free to send them directly to:

Comic Book Club
c/o Kylee Lane
1110 10th ST
Sheldon, IA 51201

(They must be free of sexual content and extreme violence, unless you are sending them for me…I will be pre-screening everything.)

Or if you do not want to deal with shipping and you would like to donate monetarily, please feel free! All money collected will be used to fund purchasing new and used comic books, art supplies and snacks. This is absolutely non-profit, though we are not an official local organization, yet.  

If you are interested in joining our group, email me at: Kylee@LuxuryLaneSoap.com // Subject: Comic Book Club